Longing Little Dove!

Longing is not how it used to be
When fantasies are no longer how they used to be
In their place are superfluous memories
Of a life that was far from exemplary
Looking back now only makes it gloomy
Mourning a life that you wished for with the makeshift roomie
The sleepless nights of wanting those keep you awake
No, it’s not work, oh c’mon, for god sake
The one that you remember, yes, the erstwhile
Serve only as a reminder of when life was worthwhile
Longing is not how it used to be
So, little dove, try harder, maybe with a glee
It was a paradox, that didn’t come with a slip of guarantee 

The Gold Flame!

It’s been years today to the first time we bro hugged,
First time since we sat across tables freezing and bugged,
First time since I noticed the color of your eyes,
First time since I stole a sigh,
First time since you switched places on the road,
First time since we shared the dense smoke,
First time since our jittery first nudge,
First time since the Italian was a waste buck,
First time since I decided on my cure,
First time since all firsts pure,
Here we are, today, in many of our firsts,
Like the gold flames, at a pinnacle!

Grandma’s Abode!

There are lives I have lived,
There are lives I haven’t.
There are hopes I have abandoned,
There are dreams I have forgotten,
I’m no superhuman,
Nor do I intend to be,
Like a humming bird
I fly back and forth,
I relive hopes and dreams,
They fear no death,
For none shall have one,
Like grandma’s abode,
We meet each burning fall,
With a promise!

Memoir!

When you are in a memoir territory, emotions become dominant at large. So much so, that once while reviewing a memoir, a New York Times Editor, (also a reviewer, a playwright, a critic, etc.) Neil Genzlinger, looked at the audience and started by saying, “A moment of silence, please, for the lost art of shutting up.”

-And I feel you Neil!

The Mirror Side! (3)

Living once in a while,

Forget once in a while, are we living at all. As much as of a cake walk it sounds, it’s one mammoth of a task. I guess mostly because now it is a task. ‘Tasks’ in itself is tag that emits exhaustion! Have you ever heard a group of girls saying we have to finish the task of shopping? No right, you see my point.

I have lived by, what I have grown up listening to, from my supremely (sometimes unnecessarily) optimistic mother. “There’s always something”, if my mom was the knight who was saving the princess, she would leave the castle whispering in the dragon ear, don’t worry, it happened for a reason, drop a bandage and leave.

Well, I, on the contrary, would not say such things but maybe leave a bandage behind (mothers DNA). It has been an insane fude between the two minds that walk parallel in my head. The other being my very strong headed, practical father’s DNA, who’d be like slit the dragon’s throat, we don’t have the time for tears.

While I have been between the battle of the sexes, I have fairly managed to pull through my not so perfect life and believe you me, lived it. Legitimately, lived it. I love the fact that I’m alive, I breathe, I can touch, sense, view, comprehend unfathomable beauty and atrocities, all at once and separately.

And that’s a lot for someone who constantly tries to judge, choose reactions rationally and then react, at least to my capacity. The distress and saddening hypocrisies that I come across each day is so consuming, the stereotypical money making flesh we have turned into, for what?

To pay the bill of food we decided to go eat at the fanciest restaurant in the town, while we look into our mails for the next day? To buy a health insurance for 60’s? To die in the most extravagant house with the most exotic funeral dinners or a 14 day lavish get together in case you’re a Hindu (yes, even death ritual is larger than life for us).

Remember talking? Whatever happened to that!

We don’t anymore, like we used to do!

(Part-3)(END).

The Mirror Side! (1)

Patriarchy is remarkably monotheistic, scissor handing the obvious anarchy we’re in the cemented dark woods of, at all times, the ones that otherwise we unerringly battle, or should I say, have to battle. Like charity, Patriarchy didn’t begin at home either, it began at a place that came to me all ornate, placed beautifully in the velvet pillow of stuff that dreams are made of in La La Land. 

It came as a thud, thud because calling it a contrast would be too generous. From my very own line of helps from my morning lemonade to my post dinner coffees, the shift to the other side of the table was quite something, but believe you me, I try, if not ace it, at least be decent.  

But remember how we chuckled through that doting phase when we’re ready to go against the winds, hello hummingbird effect! As much as we fancy it in the infancy, it will creepy crawly in to a nauseated melodrama. And there will not be anything ‘Mellow’ about that ‘Drama’. 

Saturation is an ugly pit stop, and is as important as the extra pair of heels you carried to a vacation ( I feel you girl), like it or not, you got it babe. And from where I started, and what I lived for 28 long years of my life, it never was a strong pursuit of mine. It never came across as something that would be a hiccup, but oh man, start living  with one fire breathing dragon, you’ll befriend emotions, you didn’t even know existed in you or even the universe, for starters.

The good thing about this fire breathing dragon was (is) that it gets conditioned to things and doesn’t realize it till the other half ‘Poofs’ from the situation. I never could or even now can understand if that’s a good thing, or is that how the world works when you cross a certain age, because this dragon’s history suggests otherwise, it was surprisingly different. Enough to shaft you to a shelf, dust yourself like your old books, sit, contemplate, analyse and throw yourself in a tunnel and ask, 

What changed? 

(Part-1)(End) 

 

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