The Mirror Side! (2)

I don’t know what went wrong.

Something must have gone haywire, or what I like to situationally believe and have been repeatedly told ‘we grew up’. Did we?

I’m not very good at growing up perhaps, and alas I’ve made peace with it or so I’m left to basket. What I fail to understand is that since when did growing up become a boring process of knitting a life you don’t seem to like, but choose to live. Live because, well no reason, just live it you piece of flesh, it’ll make dying less of an episode. Darling, you weren’t living anyway.

I have all my life disliked raw tomatoes, mustard oil or other little things, not out of a trivial taste test, but out of a million tries to gulp it in, in every possible way and failing. I just do not like it, in fact I cringe at the slightest of smell. But that’s not the nature of luxury I may have if I was in a scenario of food scarcity, which I’m not, so ya I don’t choose to waste it either, but I won’t force it down my throat. I’ll choose the food without it, simply.

But growing up in India doesn’t teach you that, it teaches you to learn, adjust, develop a taste for anything and everything (protocol for females only, BTW). Sad!

So I developed a taste for mustard oil while I battle with certain taste buds, still. And while that’s the state of my food log, that’s also the story for a larger picture in my life. Doing things out of sheer feeling of getting it over with, not because you want to or like to, but because you have to.

So saying that something changed with the dragon would be unfair, something or a lot of things changed with me too. People who have known me for decades would agree and be flabbergasted, all at once.

I think change, as much as is the law of nature, it also is a choice we make, mostly to survive. The question is are we only looking to survive?

Or maybe also live, once in a while?

(Part-2)(End).

The Mirror Side! (1)

Patriarchy is remarkably monotheistic, scissor handing the obvious anarchy we’re in the cemented dark woods of, at all times, the ones that otherwise we unerringly battle, or should I say, have to battle. Like charity, Patriarchy didn’t begin at home either, it began at a place that came to me all ornate, placed beautifully in the velvet pillow of stuff that dreams are made of in La La Land. 

It came as a thud, thud because calling it a contrast would be too generous. From my very own line of helps from my morning lemonade to my post dinner coffees, the shift to the other side of the table was quite something, but believe you me, I try, if not ace it, at least be decent.  

But remember how we chuckled through that doting phase when we’re ready to go against the winds, hello hummingbird effect! As much as we fancy it in the infancy, it will creepy crawly in to a nauseated melodrama. And there will not be anything ‘Mellow’ about that ‘Drama’. 

Saturation is an ugly pit stop, and is as important as the extra pair of heels you carried to a vacation ( I feel you girl), like it or not, you got it babe. And from where I started, and what I lived for 28 long years of my life, it never was a strong pursuit of mine. It never came across as something that would be a hiccup, but oh man, start living  with one fire breathing dragon, you’ll befriend emotions, you didn’t even know existed in you or even the universe, for starters.

The good thing about this fire breathing dragon was (is) that it gets conditioned to things and doesn’t realize it till the other half ‘Poofs’ from the situation. I never could or even now can understand if that’s a good thing, or is that how the world works when you cross a certain age, because this dragon’s history suggests otherwise, it was surprisingly different. Enough to shaft you to a shelf, dust yourself like your old books, sit, contemplate, analyse and throw yourself in a tunnel and ask, 

What changed? 

(Part-1)(End)